Be-Coming Out
by BustyPhillips
Summary: An alternate timeline beginning at the end of Season 2, exploring more in depth Paige's coming out and growing confidence. Mostly Paige/OC, but there will be some Paily feelings thrown into the mix. What happens when A forces Emily's hand? What is Paige to do?
1. Chapter 1

I hesitate, hovering in the doorframe, before pacing the hall for the third time. I stop in the doorframe and lift my hand to knock on the door, which was slightly ajar. I hesitate and turn to pace once more.

"Paige Adaira McCullers, either come in and say what you need to, or go to bed. Your pacing is getting tiresome," Dad says, sounding bemused.

I push the door open, smiling sheepishly. Both of my parents smile back at me and lay their books across their laps.

"What is it, Paige?" Mom asks.

"There's a formal dance at school next week. A masquerade. . ." I trail off, not fully surehow to go about putting words to what I was feeling

"And is there a . . . young lady that you're taking?" Dad questions. I heard his voice catch; He's been great, they both have, more supportive than I ever dreamed, but I know they're still struggling. And that's why I'm nervous. I now they've been accepting and they're trying to understand my sexuality, but I'm terrified over how they'll react to a blatant reminder that I'm something other than their heterosexual little girly-girl.

"No, I thought I'd go stag. But, I still want to look . . . nice. . ." I push out, trying to stay casual.

"We can go dress shopping after school tomorrow," Mom smiles.

"Actually. . . I. . . I don't want a dress," I take a deep breath. "Iwanttowearasuit," I whisper-mumble.

The room falls silent as they try to interpret what I said. I see a look of realization dawn on their faces. They exchange a look that I can't read before Dad speaks, stiltedly.

"That would be . . . fine . . . fine. Yes. Fine. He nods. "I can take you tomorrow, then?" Dad asks.

"I . . . are you okay with this? I mean, really? I'll understand. Or maybe I should . . . explain? I just don't think I'd be comfortable wearing a dress. I never really liked wearing them before and now if I'm going to actually be . . . me . . . or more me, or something like that, I don't want to pretend. I mean, I'm a girl and I know that and I like that, but I don't want to be a dress girl, I want to be a pants girl," I ramble out, eyes glued to the floor. I clear my throat and wait for whatever will happen next.

"Paige? Paige look at us," Mom says softly. I look up and I can see tears in her eyes. "Paige, we love you, however you are." Dad nods and I see that his eyes are glistening as well.

"Gay, straight. Dress girl, pants girl. It doesn't matter. What matters is your happiness. Yes, your mother and I were . . . thrown off when you came out and yes we're still adjusting, but nothing changes the fact that we love you. And we are both so sorry if we ever gave you a reason to doubt that."

I stand, speechless, happy tears rolling down my cheeks. I walk to their bed and hug each of them.

"Thank you. I love you both, so much."

"We love you, too," Dad says. "Now go to bed. We'll go suit shopping after school."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This is where the story really starts. I feel a lot of connection with Paige and I wanted to more firmly follow her coming out and her growing comfort with herself. This is not the first story I've written, but this is the first for PLL. I am playing around with the timeline of Seasons 2 and 3. Please enjoy and I welcome any feedback.

* * *

A warm hand taps my shoulder and I turn, hoping that maybe, just maybe Maya had turned up. I'm surprised, but not entirely disappointed to see that it was Paige standing before me. She pulls her mask off and smiles warmly at me.

She looks good. Suits apparently fit her quite nicely. I can't deny that I'm attracted to her. Especially right now. Learning that she's out and proud really rattled me. We had had such potential as a couple; the only thing that had held us back was her reluctance to be out. But now, with everything so up in the air with Maya, and Paige looking so good, my head was spinning.

However, none of that matters, until we actually discuss it, Maya and I are together. So when Paige asks if we can talk, I know what I need to tell her, but I need a moment to gather my thoughts.

"How about you go sit at that open table over there and I'll be right with you?"

Paige nods eagerly and walks away.

I take a deep breath and attempt to sort my thoughts when I hear my phone chime. I open it, thinking it's one of the girls. I wish I was right.

'Isn't she sweet? Destroy her, make it hurt, or I'll really hurt her. Better make it convincing bitch. I wanna see tears!- A'

Well, shit.

* * *

I've been sitting and waiting for about five minutes, rehearsing what I plan to say over and over in my head. I want to be honest with Emily and tell her how I feel, not matter the outcome. If I'm going to live an honest, open life for myself, I need to start by laying all my cards on the table. I really don't think I have anything to fear; we have such a strong connection. Besides, Emily is such a sweet girl that the worst case scenario is probably a polite 'No, thank you.'

I'm shaken from my thoughts as Emily finally sits down across from me. I immediately start talking.

"I want to apologize for the other day. You were upset and I-"

"Paige, just stop! I don't want to hear you fumbling over a pointless apology! You need to cut out this obsession with me! I. Don't. Want. You. I did once but, I never will again!" Emily says, her voice rising slightly, just loud enough to get the attention of those around us.

"I-"

"I'm not finished! You're a coward! You're so awkward, always shuffling around and rambling. The only thing you're good for is swimming. Why do you even think you could ever be good enough for me? You're not! I regret that we ever had anything between us!" Emily pauses in her tirade, taking a breath.

I interrupt before she can start again. Tears well in my eyes, unbidden. "I never thought you could be cruel."

I stand with as much dignity as possible as the tears finally spill over. I look at her one last time. Her face is as cold and hard as ice.

With my heart shattering, I walk out of the dance as casually as possible my mask laying forgotten on the table. As soon as I clear the doors, I start running. I ignore the car, I can get it tomorrow, and run the whole way home. I trip once and destroy the knees of my brand new suit. I was so excited to have it, so excited to go to the masquerade, so excited to tell Emily how I feel. I didn't really expect that she would leap into my arms, but I never expected to be ridiculed. Everything is ruined.

I throw open the door to my house and storm up the stairs, ignoring my parents' surprised exclamations. I enter my bedroom and tear off the suit until I'm left in socks, boy shorts and an undershirt. I enter my bathroom, sit on the edge of the tub and finally let the sobs wrack my body.

A knock comes from the door and my mom calls out for me. I'm sobbing too hard to answer. She knocks again and enters.

"Oh, sweetheart, what on earth happened?" She asks.

"I- I can't! I can't!" I sob.

Mom hugs me and murmurs consoling words in my ear. "You can talk to me. If not right now, then when you're ready."

She starts gently cleaning my knees from where I cut and scraped them. My sobs slow until I'm softly hiccupping. When she finishes dressing my wounds, Mom helps me wash my face. Then, she guides me to my bed and tucks me in.

"I love you. Whatever this is, it'll get better. I promise." She kisses my forehead and leaves, shutting off the light.

I soon fall into a fitful sleep, hoping that's she's right and that this will get better, but I'm really doubting it right now.


	3. Chapter 3

So far, I'm having an awful night. First A, forces me to be awful to Paige, who is always so sweet to me. I didn't want to, but I had to break her heart because I couldn't risk her being really hurt by A.

After Paige left, all hell broke loose. Spencer found out Mona was A and everything fell apart from there. But, we can be glad that this whole mess is behind us. A is safely locked away in Radley Sanitarium, and now I just want to go home and sleep.

The four of us are walking together and I decide to fill them in on what happened with Paige.

"So, A, or I guess Mona, made me be pretty awful to Paige tonight," I say.

"How so?" Spencer asks.

"Well Paige wanted to talk to me-"

"About the almost kiss?" Hannah interrupts.

"Yeah. I sent her over to a table so I could take a minute to think about what I needed to say. I care about her, but I don't know where things stand with Maya and I didn't want to lead her on. Anyway, I got a text telling me to hurt her, to make her cry, or that she'd really be hurt."

"What'd you do?" Aria questions.

"Well, I didn't want to risk whatever A would do to her so, I made her cry. I said some really nasty things to her. I feel absolutely awful," I explain.

"How'd she take it? Was she angry?"

"I don't think so, Spencer. She was hurt mostly, I guess. I've only seen her cry one other time."

"She's been violent towards you in the past, are you scared of retaliation at all? I mean, no one can forget that little near drowning incident," Spencer continues. I can hear the protective edge in her voice.

"I doubt it. She seems different now. Less on edge. More at ease with herself," I reply.

As we round the corner to my house, we see flashing blue and red lights and a huge crowd of people. They're at my house. I break into a run, the others trailing behind me.

"Mom? MOM?" I scream frantically.

I don't see her until she turns around. I breathe a sigh of relief and approach her where she's talking to a police officer.

"Mom what happened?" I ask.

"It's Maya, honey." I gasp, bile rising in my throat and hot tears welling in my eyes. I feel the girls step up around me, holding me. "No, no. She's okay, well, she's alive. I heard noises outside, and when I went out the back door, it was dark, but I saw two people fighting. One of them was on the ground. I shouted and one of them took off. When I got closer I saw that the person on the ground was Maya. I called the police and an ambulance came and took her. She's unconscious, but they're going to run some tests and hopefully the damage isn't bad."

"Who-" My throat feels thick. I clear it. "Who did this?"

The officer breaks into the conversation, "We don't know yet. You're her girlfriend, right?" I nod. "Has she said anything about anyone being angry with her?"

"No, we haven't really spoken in a couple of weeks."

"Is there anyone that you can think of that may have wanted to hurt her?" he questions.

I can practically hear all of the girls arriving at the same conclusion, but I'm quick to speak.

"No officer. There's no one I can think of." I answer.

I see Spencer open her mouth out of the corner of my eye, and I quickly jab an elbow into her ribs. She closes her mouth.

"Okay, well if you think of anything, here's my card." The officer walks away.

"Mom, can I go see Maya?" I ask, pleadingly.

"Not tonight, honey. Let them run their tests and see if she wakes up. You can go tomorrow, if she's cleared for visitors." She looks at my friends. "You girls are welcome to come in and keep Emily company. You can stay the night."

They all agree and we go to my bedroom. I lend out shorts and t-shirts and everyone changes before we sit down to talk.

"Emily, why didn't you tell the officer about Paige? After tonight, hello motive." Spencer says.

"I really, really don't think she'd be capable of doing something like this," I explain. And it's true. "Sure Paige had her issues when she was struggling with her identity, but I really don't think she would hurt Maya, especially not just because I was a jerk to her."

Spencer stares for a moment. "If you're sure." I nod. "Fine, but I'm keeping my eye on her."

We settle into a tense silence. Aria clears her throat.

"I just thought of something." We all look at her. "You said you got a text from A. If Mona is A and she was with Spencer, how did she know you were talking to Paige?"

We all look around at each other. None of us have an answer. Maybe this isn't over.


	4. Chapter 4

I'm grateful today is Saturday, because I can try to sleep off the awful way I feel. I finally roll out of bed around 10 and pull on a pair of athletic shorts and a worn Sharks hoodie with the sleeves cut off.

I walk downstairs and find both of my parents in dining room sipping coffee. They look up as I enter the room and I can see the questions in their eyes. Before they can ask anything I decide to explain at least a little bit.

"I'm sorry about last night. And I'm sorry that I ruined my suit, I'll pay you back for it. I . . . there was the girl that I like, and I thought that maybe she felt the same, or that at least she was my friend, but I guess I was wrong. She was very mean and hurtful when I tried to talk to her. So I left, but I wanted to blow of some steam so I ran home instead of taking my car," I explain.

"Are you okay now?" Dad asks.

"I don't really know. I need to get my head clear before I can answer that. So, I'm going to take a walk and retrieve my car," I reply.

Dad seems to be contemplating. "Okay, Paige. But we're here if you need us."

"I know." I head for the door. I really do know that they're here for me. And I try to talk to them, but they both said some really hurtful, homophobic things when I first came out. Yes, they apologized, but I'm reluctant to open up to them too much. We're all trying though.

I begin strolling through the town. I could walk a pretty direct route to the high school, but it's warm out and I'm hoping the walk will clear my head.

I can't believe what Emily said last night. Has she felt that way this entire time? I'm embarrassed and hurt and angry, mostly at myself. I never should have thought she was interested in me. God, she probably only tolerated my existence because of the swim team! How am I supposed to face her on Monday? And she probably told all of her friends how pathetic I am, so school is going to be awful! Thank God there's only a few more weeks left until summer vacation.

I reach my car and climb in. I start it and sit in silence for a moment. So far my head isn't any clearer than it was when I started my walk. All of my old insecurities from years of being bullied, from years of forcing myself deeper into the closet, from years of just never being good enough, are surfacing. I feel like I'll never get to be happy, like I'm doomed to being single and pathetic and alone for the rest of my life. I know I'm young, but at 17 years old I'm pretty much batting zero, and not just romantically. My grades are decent at best, I hardly have friends and Emily was right that the only thing I'm good for is swimming. And she's even better than me at that!

I finally make the short drive home and pull into the driveway. I walk into the house and immediately hear, "Paige, come into the living room."

I do as Dad says and enter the living room, sitting on a chair opposite the couch where both my parents are seated.

"Your mother and I have been talking about everything going on lately and where we are as family right now," he begins.

"Right. And we know that things have been difficult for you, for all of us and that your ability to trust us was broken because of the things we said," Mom continues.

"And that's not how we want things to be for us. As a family. We want to better at understanding you and the things you're going through. We want you to feel like you can talk to us and trust us not to judge you. Is that something you want, too?" Dad finishes.

"Yes. It really is. But I don't really know how to recover from that," I answer honestly.

"We may have found something that can help. There's a small PFLAG chapter that meets in Haleford and we've spoken to the president. They meet every week on Saturday and they said we're welcome to join them. Your father and I plan to attend tonight. If you want to come, that's fine. If you don't want to come, that's fine too," Mom explains. They both look excited and hopeful at the prospect of attending the PFLAG meeting.

I'm honestly surprised. Though I've seen them trying to make an effort to understand, I never thought they'd go so far to actually seek outside guidance. I never dreamed that I could even make a link between my dad and something like PFLAG.

"I. . . yes. I think I'd like to attend the meeting too." I answer.

* * *

Maya's still unconscious. The doctors aren't sure when, or even if, she'll wake up. Something about severe trauma and a hematoma in her brain. I just want to sit with her all day, but Mom is urging me not to. I'm not even sure how I feel right now. I love Maya and I'm worried about her and I would give anything for her to be okay. But I don't know if I can be with her when she wakes up. How long was she in Rosewood? Why didn't she ever answer my calls or texts? Throw the horrible things I said to Paige into the mix, and I'm feeling pretty low.

But, there's work to be done. The girls come to pick me up and we start trying to figure out who could have hurt Maya and who the other A might be. Time and time again, the police and other authority figures in this town have disappointed us, so we'd rather take these matters into our own hands.

"I think we need to talk to Mona once she's stable. She may be willing to give us a name, or she may even let something slip," Spencer suggests.

"I agree, but will Radley even let us see her without her parents' permission?" Aria asks.

"Her parents would probably give me permission. She is, or was, my best friend," says Hannah.

"Okay, we'll give it a few weeks, unless A gets out of hand. Mona should be under the effects of her medication by then. Now, Maya. Emily have you thought of anything else that may help?" Spencer transitions from one mystery to the next.

"Not really. I'm going to look through old texts, letters, e-mails, see if anything sticks out," I reply.

"Alright, sounds like a solid plan. Let's keep each other posted."

* * *

A/N: So, while the focus of this story is largely meant to be Paige and her journey, I want to bring some of the mystery from the show into it. I want to play with the timeline of things, and I'm obviously changing the outcome of some events. I really feel like I need to establish what the Liars are doing and Emily's feelings toward Paige (and vice versa) to create the world as I see it. I welcome any feedback, questions or concerns!


	5. AN

I have more chapters in the works but updates are temporarily on hold. My mother is in critical condition and it's only a matter of time before she passes.


	6. Chapter 5

A/N: Thank you all for your support and patience. My mother passed away last Sunday. It was sudden but not unexpected. I will continue to post updates, but maybe not with as much frequency as I had previously.

* * *

Later that night, we pull into the parking lot of the Haleford community center. We're about 30 minutes early, but as we walk inside there is already a small group of people setting up chairs.

"Are you the McCullers?" a voice calls. Two men who look like they're my parents' age approach.

"Yes. I'm Nick, this is my wife, Helen, and our daughter Paige. Is one of you Martin?"

"Yes, I'm Martin Washburne," The taller of the two men answers. He's really tall and really thin. He gestures to the shorter, Hispanic looking man next to him. "This is my partner Rico."

"We're so glad you came to join us!" Rico exclaims.

"Since you're here early, do any of you have questions about PFLAG before the meeting starts?" Martin asks.

"What are the meetings usually like?" Dad asks.

"Pretty informal. We usually start by discussing any relevant community news, then get to our business, if we have any. After that, it's basically an open forum; if there's anything anybody would like to discuss or ask advice on, we do it then. Paige, if you want to sit in at the meeting, wonderful, if not, sometimes the kids like to hang out together in that little side room while the adults meet," Martin answers. "Actually some of them are in there now, if you want to go say hi."

"Okay, thank you, I will," I say, smiling. I walk into the side room.

* * *

Once Paige is out of earshot Martin and Rico turn more fully towards Nick and Helen.

"So tell us a little more about what brings you here," says Rico.

"Well, as I told Martin earlier, Paige only came out about two months ago. Helen and I both said some pretty hurtful things, well it was mostly me. We regret everything we said, and we want to try to repair the damage we've done," Nick explains.

"We want to have a good relationship with her, and we want her to be able to trust us again. She's started opening up a little, but, we can tell she's more upset about some things than she's telling us," Helen continues.

"Well, it's great that you want to fix your relationship! Now, when you say that she's upset, do you suspect she's being bullied? Because that's a big topic of discussion tonight," says Martin.

"I don't think so, or at least she's never mentioned anything about being bullied to us," replies Helen.

"Bullying is a pretty big issue, especially for LGBT kids. We've had a lot of problems with our daughter getting bullied for a bunch of reasons at Haleford," Rico says.

"You have a daughter?" Helen asks just as the door behind them opens.

"Yes, speak of the devil," says Martin, as a petite brunette breezes past them on her way into the side room, shouting "hi dads."

"That was our Libby," Rico laughs.

* * *

I enter the small side room and I'm instantly greeted by a blonde boy wearing glasses who looks like he's a couple of years younger than me.

"Hi, I'm Tyler! Are you joining us for the meeting?"

"Yeah, hi! I'm Paige!" I reply.

Tyler turns to face the three other teenagers in the room. "Hey guys! Come meet Paige!"

"Hi, Paige, I'm Jack and this is my boyfriend Mike," the tall, thin dark-haired boy says, gesturing to a shorter, stockier red-haired boy, who waves at me. They both look to be my age, maybe a little older.

"And I'm Jana," says the only other girl in the room as she turns to face me. She is gorgeous, long golden blonde hair, beautiful jade green eyes, tall, slender but curvy. She has dark skinny jeans on with brown boots and a green t-shirt that matches her eyes. She reaches out to shake my hand and I'm stunned into silence, mutely shaking her hand. I continue stare to the point that it's about to get embarrassing if I don't speak.

So, I'm grateful when I feel someone slam into my back, almost knocking me off of my feet. I catch myself against the wall as I hear Jack shout while he darts forward to catch the person falling behind me

"Whoa there, Libs! Are you both okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine!" I say.

"I'm fine. Just a klutz," the brunette answers. She's probably my age, but she's short, lucky if she even makes it to five feet. Her choppy dark brown hair is pulled back in a messy ponytail. She's wearing thin, wire frame glasses over her hazel eyes, and I can see a hearing aid in her right ear. She's got long cargo shorts on and a Spiderman t-shirt. If Pru were here, she'd have leaned into me and whispered something catty about this girl being a nerd.

"Are you okay, Paige?" she asks.

"I am and how did you know that I'm Paige?" I question.

"My dads are Martin and Rico. So, I made a guess. I'm Libby. Welcome."

"So tell us about yourself," says Mike. "And don't spare any details!"

"Okay," I laugh, "but only if I get to learn something about all of you!"

We all begin chatting and I learn little tidbits about everyone. Tyler is 14 and isn't sure about his sexuality, so he's been coming to meetings with his parents. Jack was kicked out of his home when he came out at the age of 13; he lived on the streets for a while, until Mike's family took him in after they started dating. Jana is 17 like me, and she is on the field hockey team at Parker Prep in Haleford. Libby is 16 and she's pretty quiet, so I didn't get to learn much about her.

They all agree to actually attend the meeting tonight because it's my first one and pretty soon Martin pokes his head in to tell us it's time to begin.


End file.
